Thu, Jul 17th 2008, 10:35 am

7-17-08- I just got back from a two mile jog. I was trying to clear my head from all the turmoil I’ve been going through these past few days, and I realized something as I approached my porch.

Your placing doesn’t define who you are. I’ve been involved with some people who are overly competitive. For some reason they have something to prove, as if they aren’t amazing competitors already. (Most people can’t do what we do—Period!) I’ve been avoiding them for many reasons and one in particular is because I don’t want that spirit to influence me. What ever God decides I deserve, that will be sufficient! I have learned threw the years that competing is for my betterment, so that God can better use me. He is refining me more and more each year. My placing doesn’t determine my commitment to my clients, my ability to do my job, my discipline, or love for the sport. It doesn’t determine whether I’m a great competitor or if my countenance from others is positive.

These people have spoiled the fun in this for themselves. Why do people always try to make themselves feel better than their fellow man? I just don’t understand the lack of confidence thing. And people do it all the time with their money, careers, houses, cars, clothes, bodies, family tree, spouses, peers, need I go on; as if when we die that is all that people will remember them by. It makes me want to cry! The things in life that really matter often get left to the waste side in pursuit of greener pastures.

It seems in almost all my jobs, and most of my years competing I have run into toxic people. I’m a little tired of dealing with them. I noticed the same people not speaking well of me yesterday and I thought, I have been threw this more times than I can count. And I JUST DON’T CARE ANYMORE!

“God, I commit this to you and I’m threw. I want to be used in a positive way. I want you to say well done my good and faithful servant. I need to know YOU are proud of me not people. Now I can let this go and focus on my true calling, which is not competing, it is sharing my faith so that others can see and give God glory and draw their hearts closer to you. I put on the full armor of God, because I know the battle isn’t over. Let me rise above it all, and no matter what happens in my competitive career I will feel no shame, no fear, and nothing to prove. My trophies are in heaven where they belong. Let me be a blessing. In JESUS Name I pray, amen.”

God knows the truth and my heart, Aketa